25 april..missing you

Today i was totally no mood for anything o something..i miss u so much i miss miss miss u so much...bt i stop myself from calling n smsing u..i wan u have time n space..to regain ur stable mind...i went out talk w my bro at coffe bean again today..this time..i cried...i hug my bro..i tell everything dat make me miserable..yes im miserable...but is nt ur fault..is wad i get from wad i do...bt is worth..even loving u is hurt..promises to u,i olwez keep...cuz i reli love u..my phone flat batt..i received ur 1:17am de msg saying u cried at 2:41am...im sry i late receive ur msg...i try get myself bz to forget the hurt dat i get from u...i noe u dun mean it..i dun mind cuz i love u..

I get a roses and pluck every petals of it...wishing u olwez happy n wont cry...will u do dis for me...?b strong...please dun cry anymore..please...i love you..

24 April...

Today..i went to coffee bean w my bro...we talk,we chat..is been a month we din meet each other...quite busy w own job..i feel down today..i dunno he angry me o wad..he ignore every msg n call i do..is quite sad..but i hope everything will b ok...

im so free today..i edit sum pic of me n my fren..i upload them too...nt very nice..bt i like it..

WHAT I CAN DO NOW.....?

Wad i can do?i feel so hurt..so miserable...i love him...i reli love him...i keep crying..cry cry and cry..im so lost...i lost in my own feelings..do this,not rite,do that not rite oso...wad am i thinking???wad am i doin now!!!!!!?????christopher felix,WAD ARE YOU DOIN NOW??????i dunno...i love him..dats all...I LOVE HIM...dis one im very sure...IM VERY SURE BOUT IT..bt..who am i to love him?who am i to him?frens?strangers?or jz another crazy guy keep fan him?i fail in love many times..bein played by others,set up by sum1 i love before..im so stupid..i hit myself..i cry like i lost my life..i scream like mad guy..i lost my mind..im stuck in myself..im stuck in loving you..afterall...u r d one dat i really love...my heart..is stolen by u,even u din mean too..bt my heart is gone..

i cried...the pain feel in my hearts..

Nothing to do today..since im not working..i take time read ur blog..one by one..words by words..the more i read..the more pain i feel..a lot..jealousy,envy and sad...bt wad i can do?im jz a strangers that pop in ur life...i feel hurt..i feel so stupid...wad i can do?how can i do?i reli fall in love w him..i reli love him...the pic...that i uploaded..is cut that i wan to make myself wake up...stop it..it is impossible for me to be with him..but i cant stop loving him...i cant stop..reli cant...i just CANT!how now...jz let the time decide,the fate show up,the destiny to guide..i just can wait..even is impossible..i'll be waiting..

Ring Oh Ring(23 April)

Morning..i was unable to text u today since phone out of credit..i din go work as well..im goin to boulevard mall,to get a ring same as mine for u..the ring is engrave w d number 520-1314.which is mean i love you,as long as i still alive..i upload sum pic here too..the second pic gt my beloved earring..it jz use as a stand for d ring..XD

yea..dats all i wan to tell you..im goin off to kl earlier so that i can accompany u..i dun wan u cry alone...i dun wan..i feel hurt n sad wen u do so..

22 April

Beloved one...i woke up early this morning..cuz i wanna go back my home..haha..around 10am i go bath n so on..ready up..go to wait bus at bus stand..

I reach my home around 11am sumthing..i get some water to drinks,went straight up to my room..i bath again...XD is hot today..Done bathing,i watch TV,feel bored...nothing to do while wait for lunch prepared..haha..im lazy to lend hand today at kitchen..

After lunch i went back to sleep again,until around 2pm..i woke up cuz my brother called me...quites noisy...disturbing..haha..bt is okla..i need to get up n head to IBS hostel lo..

At boulevard bus stand,i sms w him..i mean d one dat i love..i tell him a lot thing again..i afraid i bit "fan" him...but i cant help myself...he din reply me..i feel wanna sms him..nut maybe he was busy..so i stop my intention..

Nightime,i edit my pic using Adobe Photoshop CS4..i upload in this blog too...dunno nice o nt..bt i like it..haha..i wan to msn webcam w him...but he goin out w fren for kara-ok..but is not a nice day today..he told me he met his lover ex..huh?weird rite?i noe he gt bf,yet i still wan him..skip that,he feel unhappy w dat met..i jz hope he can b happy again..

21 April

Today,i woke up on 7am..still lied on my bed tho..i turn turn around..c my phone..i sms him...saying gud morning..haha..i on my laptop,listen to song'Thinking Of You by Katy Perry'..i felt so enjoyed.i went to bath,in bathroom i hear my phone ringing..halfdone bath...i steeped out to reach my phone..i thought he the one calling me though..but is my sales manager..asking wheter im free or not today to lend hand help her today o not...her husband which is my agency manager celebrating birthday today..i tell her to fetch me around 830am then..we having breakfast,buy sum stuff for tonite BBQ..aound 9am++ i called him..since he didn't reply me..he telling me he ride bike to work today so i understand.

During helping my sales manager,i get cut on my finger.nt quite pain as i get used to it..at the same moment,i tell him how i feel towards him,how much i love him,how much he is important to me..

At night,i enjoy a lot..even i saw my ex..i jz tend to ignore him..is hurt,but wad i can do?we nt meant to be together..i din eat a lot today,cuz i miss him so much,i cant stand see he been hurt waiting for someone.yea,he is belong to sum1.but i like him too..i love him too..i feel so stressing from a lot side.i get the Hardy's red wine.i drink quite a lot..i feel wanna cry..i been hurt a lot..keep hurting,,,n yet im so stupid keep love sum1..dis time..i swear..as long as i can b w him,i try my best to take care of him..try nt to anger him,but to make him feel comfortable..cuz i just love you..

I reached home..i on my laptop,waiting for him to on9..i wait him for long time..i called him for 13 times yet no answer..i started to feel weird n nervous...im so so so scare he started to ignored me..im reli scared...then i try to called him again...the last time i'll try call him..n he answered..he say he goin out get sum stuff n forgotten to bring his phone...i feel so relieved n happy..we video call in msn..he see me kinda sad for wad we talk bout tis afternoon...he say he sing a song for me..i dun reli noe wad is d song bout...i rarily listen to chinese song..but wad im sure is..he so sweet...he trying to make me happy n he does..i love him so much...

Beloved one...dis blog i created as a prove to show my love to you....nites...i love ur singing...u reli sweet..